The Truth is Out There (And So is My Burnout): How Watching ‘The X-Files’ Became My Solace
The Truth is Out There (And So is My Burnout): How Watching ‘The X-Files’ Became My Solace
It was the summer of 2024 when I found myself with the opportunity to binge The X-Files and through the years' worth of rich science fiction shenanigans with Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. I was only looking for a series to binge while I (dreadfully) worked from home and discovering the fan-favorite sci-fi/horror/thriller series wasn’t on my bucket list, but it was well worth the experience.
I, for one, am not really a series watcher. There’s this daunting feeling of having to invest in characters across multiple episodes and seasons. It’s an attachment thing, I guess. But I needed something to keep me away from my inner thoughts and anxieties while working at home and writing scripts, which is a gold mine of a job opportunity. No doubt I was thankful to have a job to keep me afloat that year, but all the sleepless nights, constant anxieties, and overwhelming thoughts weren’t worth it.
Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) | Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
When you say The X-Files as a comfort show, it’s way left field. What comes to mind are the terrifying creatures and otherworldly occurrences that terrorize Mulder and Scully in each episode. With the run-of-the-mill creature-of-the-week episodes and the mytharc episodes overlapping, the latter being connected to the overall story arc, my binge experience amplified the idea that these two would always have each other’s backs while solving things together.
Mulder is the staunch believer in aliens, conspiracies, and paranormal activities, while Scully is the skeptic and drawn to the scientific. With these contrasting personalities, I can’t help but feel engaged through their varying perspectives. And yes, I’m also awestruck by their insane chemistry and their seemingly “platonic” friendship that goes beyond just being friends. I guess it was what I needed at the time, hanging out with these two new friends I spent time with almost every day, going through all of the seasons in a span of three months or so.
Even after all of the out-of-this-world moments of the series, I think what I’m more curious about is what these characters do and how they live in their downtime. Thus, the moments when they’re in their apartments trying to do their own thing feel like something I’ve never experienced. As I was working from home at the time, with the intense freedom of taking control of my own time, which is also a downside if you ask me, I imagined the feelings of relief and joy of having my own time designated for just work and just “me” time at home because after all, my home became my workstation.
More than that, the feeling of watching the show took me back to the time of serialized television, of sitting through 40 plus minutes each episode with some 20 episodes per season. It isn’t the norm these days, with shorter seasons being what we’re now used to. The standalone episodes make it so you don’t feel the need to rush through one after another, unlike the binge culture we have these days. But even with the downright bad episodes and lackluster seasons, they don’t really affect my perspective on the overall greatness and magic that Chris Carter and company had.
Scully and Mulder | Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
Of course, who could forget the iconic theme song, which I only realized was the origin of the meme when I started binging the show (I’ve been living under a rock). The moment it plays right after the cold open at the start of every episode, I knew it was going to be a real vibe. It captures the unknown and the otherworldly, which I’m not really a huge fan of, but I get the appeal.
With that I finally understood why people gravitate toward watching shows more: because they get to spend time with the characters and go back to their favorite shows to remind themselves of what they first felt living through the series and its world, characters, and story developments. In truth, I haven’t really felt this way with other shows, but perhaps The X-Files is a series I never expected to fall in love with. The first season was a worthy introduction to the mythology and science fiction stories that captured a generation. Through the seasons that followed, with the fourth one still being the best, with episodes like “Home,” “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man,” “Memento Mori,” and “Paper Hearts” as a few of the season’s standouts, the series was truly at its peak.
With The X-Files’ grand return in 2016 for its 10th season, following the 2008 feature-length film, seeing much older versions of Mulder and Scully brought a mix of strangeness and warmth, like returning to a home you once long lived in and remembering all the good things, even some of the bad. Season 11 may not have been a home run, aside from the inventive seventh episode with its minimal dialogue, but it didn’t leave a sour taste after watching everything.
Mulder and Scully | Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
After watching the entire series, I was led to move on to other things. But I guess the lingering reaction I had was watching season-by-season recaps, video essays, deep dives on the story, and checking out online marketplaces to try to get a vintage figure of Mulder and Scully. It’s the way it stuck with me.
“The truth is out there,” as the series’ theme says, and it actually made me believe in my own path. That perhaps I just had to suck things up with the things that were happening in my life. A few months after finishing the whole series, I actually quit. At first, it felt like a sign of defeat, but looking back, it was the right choice. That experience actually got me to where I am now, I guess. Being free from the pain and trauma, just like how Mulder and Scully felt whenever they uncovered the truth, no matter how big or small. I thought of Scully’s cancer arc, how she carried the weight of something she never asked for, yet still braved through it. Or Mulder, who was constantly ridiculed and doubted by those around him, but never let go of what he really believed in. They had their moments of wanting to give up, but they always found their way back.
Mulder and Scully | Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
I was reminded that leaving my previous job wasn’t just an escape, but my way of choosing my battles and winning through belief. The truth doesn’t always lead to answers, but it can bring clarity and gradually lighten the heavy weight I’ve been carrying. Every time I think of the year 2024, among many things, I remember the months I spent binging through the series, sometimes reliving what I was going through as I sat on the couch with an episode playing while I typed away on my laptop. In those moments, I was quite literally at home with Mulder, Scully, the aliens, and all the strange wonders that came with them.
